"SEINFELD SCRIPT FACSIMILE"
INT MEDIUM SHOT LIVING ROOM/KITCHEN NEW YORK UPPER WEST SIDE APARTMENT NIGHT
Jerry, about thirty-five, slim, casually dressed wearing jeans and sneakers stands at the counter pouring juice while George, about thirty-five, bald and bespectacled, also causually dressed, comes in without knocking and sits on the sofa and turns toward Jerry. Jerry is a comedian, George is unemployed.
G: So, what's the show about?
J: I had this great little Swiss chocolate boy wearing lederhosen in a special glass jar, but when I was searched in Customs the officer shook the giftbox so hard that she made the head break off. I was going to photograph that little Swiss chocolate boy in places all over America - in the Catskills, at Bear Mountain, at Wendy's, on 42nd St., in the subway - and then bring it back to Switzerland for my show at the Swiss Embassy, to show the slides as a kind of funny travelogue. But with it's head broken it looks like I'm trying to make a political statement or even an insult. So now I got nothin'.
G: What about getting a box of that Swiss Miss chocolate and photographing it all over America?
J: No. It won't work.
G: Why not?
J: Because, it's not funny.
G: What's not funny about Swiss Miss? It's chocolate, she's Swiss, it's America?
J: Nope, it won't work. She's not in a special Swiss jar and she won't melt. Besides, I wanted it to look like a miniature Jeff Koons, remember? He made big jokey things. I wanted to make a little jokey thing. I export it, then I import it. Get it? Now what am I going to do?